Quotes by Amy Schumer - The Quotation Station

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"You learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation."
-- Aristotle Plato

"When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction."
-- Mark Twain

"If 5th century BC Pythagoras discovered algebraic theorems, if 19th century Darwin discovered the evolution of species, then what topics does the 21st century mind explore? I would say evolutionary psychology, primitive neuroscience, and information networks."
-- Luigi Mangione

"I feel lucky for my 21st century education. I get to simply download the knowledge of all who came before me, allowing me to stand on their shoulders and ponder new problems they never would have had access to."
-- Luigi Mangione

Popular Quotes

"Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."
-- Albert Einstein

"If you leave my class knowing anything, it will be how to write a declarative sentence that gets your point across. I will teach you how to listen to the show you want to write for and how to tailor your style toward its voice. More importantly, I will teach you how to write on demand, which is why the core of the course involves writing in class, on deadline. These skills will serve you well in late night, on awards shows, in sitcom writing roo"
-- Guy Nicolucci

"He who endeavors to serve, to benefit, and improve the world, is like a swimmer, who struggles against a rapid current, in a river lashed into angry waves by the winds. Often they roar over his head, often they beat him back and baffle him. Most men yield to the stress of the current... Only here and there the stout, strong heart and vigorous arms struggle on toward ultimate success."
-- Albert Pike

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Amy Schumer Quotes

Mike Tyson, you have a slutty lower back tattoo on your face. Men don't know whether to be scared of it, or finish on it.Get Image

Grey's Anatomy is what William Shatner calls his balls.Get Image

William Shatner, I've seen less bloated men being dragged out of rivers. Does Priceline pay you in empenadas?Get Image

I don't say anything for shock value. I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.Get Image

My mom is very good at being passive-aggressive, and my Dad is a total wise-ass, so I think the mixture of the two of them is my comedy.Get Image

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