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"You learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation."
    -- Aristotle Plato
"When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction."
    -- Mark Twain
"If 5th century BC Pythagoras discovered algebraic theorems, if 19th century Darwin discovered the evolution of species, then what topics does the 21st century mind explore? I would say evolutionary psychology, primitive neuroscience, and information networks."
    -- Luigi Mangione
"I feel lucky for my 21st century education. I get to simply download the knowledge of all who came before me, allowing me to stand on their shoulders and ponder new problems they never would have had access to."
    -- Luigi Mangione
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"You know what's worse than random numbers texting you? People saved in your phone, but you still have no clue who they are."
    -- Alexis Killacam
"It is in your moments of decision that your life is shaped. Develop your decision-making muscles."
    -- Anthony Robbins
"In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man."
    -- Alfred Hitchcock

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Amy Schumer Quotes

Photo of Amy Schumer
Mike Tyson, you have a slutty lower back tattoo on your face. Men don't know whether to be scared of it, or finish on it.Get Image
Grey's Anatomy is what William Shatner calls his balls.Get Image
William Shatner, I've seen less bloated men being dragged out of rivers. Does Priceline pay you in empenadas?Get Image
I don't say anything for shock value. I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.Get Image
My mom is very good at being passive-aggressive, and my Dad is a total wise-ass, so I think the mixture of the two of them is my comedy.Get Image



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