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"If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?"
    -- Robert Burns
"Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?"
    -- Robert Burns
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"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
    -- Anais Nin
"Comedy is allied to justice."
    -- Aristophanes
"Horse to Unicorn: Do I make you horny?"
    -- Martin Jakob Storrow

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Antonio Salieri

Prima la musica, poi le parole (first the music, then the words)
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