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"If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?"
    -- Robert Burns
"Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?"
    -- Robert Burns
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"We cannot think first and act afterward. From the moment of birth we are immersed in action, and can only fitfully guide it by taking thought."
    -- Alfred North Whitehead
"So. The time has come for me to get my kite flying, stretch out in the sun, kick off my shoes, and speak my piece. 'The days of struggle are over,' I should be able to say. 'I can look back now and tell myself I don't have a single regret.' But I do. Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder. 'Harpo, my boy,' he said, 'I'm going to give you three pieces of advice, three things you should "
    -- Arthur Marx
"Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad."
    -- Larry David

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Ben Hecht

In Hollywood a starlet is the name for any woman under thirty who is not actively employed in a brothel.
Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
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