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"Jellyfish are 97 percent water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another three per cent and make them water. It's more useful."
    -- Karl Pilkington
"I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?"
    -- Karl Pilkington

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"A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it."
    -- Alcoholics Anonymous Prayer
"The sum of all human wisdom is contained in these two words: Wait and Hope."
    -- Alexander Dumas
"Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus."
    -- Alexander Graham Bell

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Carnac The Magnificent

May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana.

May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture.

May a love-starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines.

May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup.

May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt.

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