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"Men aren't supposed to nag."
    -- Steve Harvey
"So thank you all for this great honor and all your great work. I hope it makes you happy as you have made me happy for this five minutes of my life, which will last until I get to the edge of this stage, and it hits me that this was all a bunch of nonsense."
    -- Jerry Seinfeld

Popular Quotes
"I believe things happen that can't be explained, but so many people seem intent on explaining them. Everyone has an answer for them. Either aliens or things from the spirit world."
    -- Harold Ramis
"The mere formulation of a problem is far more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skills. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle requires creative imagination and marks real advances in science."
    -- Albert Einstein
"I have no problem telling a guy who's a pig he's a pig. "
    -- Kevin O'Leary

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Carnac The Magnificent

May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana.

May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture.

May a love-starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines.

May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup.

May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt.

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