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"As they sat in traffic, we slowly rolled past the long line of luxury cars they had in their caravan, looking into each one until we pulled up to the front vehicle and found who we were seeking."
    -- Duane Keith Davis
"They want to put me in jail for life? That is just something I got to do."
    -- Duane Keith Davis
"I sang because they promised I would not be prosecuted."
    -- Duane Keith Davis
"I would rather be poor than do anything besides YouTube."
    -- Jimmy Donaldson
Popular Quotes
"We have real enemies in the world. These enemies must be found. They must be pursued and they must be defeated."
    -- Barack Hussein Obama
"An educated man ... is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style."
    -- Alan Simpson
"A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling."
    -- Arthur Brisbane

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Jack Handey Quotes

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.Get Image
The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.Get Image
If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting.Get Image
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.Get Image
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.Get Image



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